I was invited to the Pump Room this evening and had my photo taken with the Right Worshipful the Mayor of Bath, Mrs. Carol Paradise (pictured, above left). That necklace is only worn by the Mayors of Bath, and is “priceless,” or otherwise estimated at well over 400,000 pounds.
I was there to talk to the Mayor of Bath and Mr. Torahata, C.E.O of Happy Enterprises, about setting up a billion-dollar tourist attraction near the Abbey and Roman Baths based around a recently discovered egg. It was really a spectacular find…looked almost prehistoric. It washed up on the Cornish coast a few years ago during one of the rare hurricanes that hits that area.
But after hearing expert prehistoric egg tourist-oriented programming delegations from Poland and the Czech Republic, the third speaker was interrupted by two girls from “Infant Island,” who wished to be known as the Shojobin (pictured, above right). These girls warned us that if the egg wasn’t swiftly returned to Infant Island, the larvae (their term, not mine) would hatch and destroy this World Heritage city! Enraged, Mr. Torahata chased the Shojobin off the stage, but alas!, we should have listened!
The international delegations were getting nervous and began demanding the egg be returned to this legendary “Infant Island,” but Mr. Torahata and Mayor Paradise refused to give it up, and we all know “…public opinion is powerless against the law.”
Failing to convince the Right Worshipful the Mayor of Bath and the City Councilors, we were all packing up when Godzilla suddenly appeared leaving a trail of destruction from Widcombe through the South Parade to the Abbey Yard, itself!
There was pandemonium everywhere when the Shojobin tried to calm the atomic beast through song. The singing failed miserably but attracted the egg’s mother, Mothra, who was shortly convinced by the Shojobin to save Bath by defeating Godzilla.
With a screech, Mothra defended her egg against Godzilla. For a while Mothra, who resembled – well – a moth, was on top of things but then Godzilla fired his atomic ray at Mothra’s face, felling her instantly. Woe to Mothra! This appeared to appease Godzilla, who headed off toward Royal Victoria Park and Oddown, but the Shojobin got the idea to hatch the egg with their song.
(Pictured above, the Shojobin attempt the birthing song while a member of the town council informs Madame Mayor on the fate of Walcot, a northern section of Bath.)
Crack! And it was done, with not one but two Mothra larvae that followed Godzilla to Walcot, spraying him with an encasing cocoon substance, which tripped him into the cold River Avon. The Mothra larvae joined us at the remains of the Thomas Baldwin and John Palmer’s Pump Room (1791-1795) to celebrate before they returned to Infant Island in the middle of the Hudson, Dutchess County, New York, to live with their older Poughkeepsie urban planner cousin (pcitured below in November 2005). Just another ordinary day in Bath.