070724.Bath, “Each Drop Fat With Purpose and Spite”

July 24, 2007 at 5:34 PM | Posted in Architecture, Bath, Bath Abbey, Dogs, somerset, stairs | 3 Comments

07016.08.SO.Bath.ParadeGrdns“There is going to be a great flood, and all shall drown except you and yours, and the chosen animals.… I shall bring a flood that will wipe out the world. The whole thing was a bad mistake—except you, you I like.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m the creator of the universe.”

070717.7.SO.Bath.Walcot.GeorgeStreet“I was just talking with the Lord and you know what? He regrets having made his children too. He says it like this: ‘I will blot them out’”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means he’ll blot them out, smush ‘em into the ground like ladybugs. He’s going to flood the place and drown everyone with his tears of rage. And guess who he picked to spearhead the operation? That’s right, me. Also, you virginal dummies will have to get married so we can re-seed the Earth. Stop waxing the rimrod and clean your togas. Get out to work.”

070305.01.Somset.Bath.ClavertonDown.BathwickHillRd“From what Ham had heard about God, he was a lot like his father: tough, stubborn and prone to yell right into your face for no reason. To Ham, a flood wouldn’t have been out the question. And God would have chosen his father because his father felt just like he did: He hated his kids and was going to teach them the meaning of righteousness by killing them dead.”

“Is it right to listen to the voice in one’s nose? Maybe I am sick in the head. But if I am wrong that means the dummies are right. There is nothing left for me to do but persist.”

070704.262.Rome.Parrione.Cloister.SMariadellaPace.d.Cortona.1656-57Ham: “You know, we could empty out the alligator cage and make some more room for people. The world could do without alligators.”
Noah: “And disobey God, you dummy? …And you try reopening that door. Do you know what a pain that would be? No thanks.”
–Jonathan Goldstein

Left: Rome’s Cloister of S. Maria della Pace, designed by Cortona, 1656-57.

070620.Bath, “People will say we’re in love.”

June 20, 2007 at 12:37 AM | Posted in Bath, Dogs, river, River Avon, somerset | 15 Comments

You fly back to school now, little Swan. Fly, fly, fly. Fly, fly, fly….
“I’ve been in this room for eight years now Clarice. I know they will never, ever let me out while I’m alive. What I want is a view. I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water. I want to be in a federal institution, far away from Dr. Chilton.”

[At the Parade Gardens, right over where the Great Roman Drain empties into the River Avon.]

-Tomorrow’s post might be a bit late as I am camping out at Stonehenge tonight for the solstice! (To blend in, I’m bringing a sheet just in case I run into any Druids.)

070403.Bathwick, Oh, Where’s My Captain

April 3, 2007 at 3:10 AM | Posted in Bathwick, Dogs, river, River Avon, Riverboats, somerset | 11 Comments


Rover and Teneal…?

JosyC, who is still posting for Ja.mes, had no idea what this was supposed to mean, so she Wikipedia’ed it… apparently it’s a takeoff of “Captain and Tenille,” a pop singing duo from the 1970’s. Apparently they’re famous or something. JC isn’t not sure why Ja.mes has chosen to spell it “Teneal” here…. but ohhhhh well. Enjoy the photo!

070321.Swainswick, “Cave Canum”

March 21, 2007 at 3:44 AM | Posted in Architecture, Conservation, countryside, Dogs, doorways, Overcast, somerset, Swainswick, towns | 4 Comments

Behold Prince and Beauty, who are not the seven bay buttressed 1629 Manor House barn with its tie beams and collar-beam roof that lies at the end of this inconveniently private drive. Yaaargh. 070205.43.Somset.Swainswick
A good conservationist, or downright tourist for that matter, should always carry some bacon in his/her pocket while (excuse me, “whilst”) traveling ’round the countryside — just in case one encounters a “fleabag.” (Dad’s term, not mine.)

070207.Corston.Prowling Near the Prow

February 7, 2007 at 12:10 AM | Posted in Architecture, Canals, Corston, Dogs, Gardens & Parks, Light and Shadow, river, River Avon, Riverboats, somerset | 2 Comments


On February 5, 2007, NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak was arrested in Orlando, Florida. Police allege she was planning to kidnap and murder a romantic rival. “….She replied, “That was stupid.” During a search of Nowak’s car parked at a nearby motel, the police found a letter written by Nowak in which she proclaimed her love for [fellow astronaut] Oefelein, along with latex gloves, opened packages for both a buck knife and pepper spray, an unused BB cartridge, handwritten directions to Shipman’s house, copies of e-mails from Shipman to Oefelein, and diapers. The astronaut explained she had used the latter during the 900 mile drive from her home in Houston, Texas to Orlando so she did not have to stop to urinate (U.S. shuttle astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry). They also found receipts indicating Nowak paid only in cash during her trip from Houston, including for her hotel stay.” She drove this distance after Shipman boarded the plane in Houston to Orlando, after finding out Shipman was her rival. The incident occured after a hooded trench coat, sunglasses and wig-wearing Nowak ran after Shipman in the parking lot to prevent Shipman from locking the car door. Oh, and Oefelein, the astronaut at the centre of these two women already was married and has two kids….

070131.Bradford-on-Avon, Vigilance is a Fifteenth-Century Granary’s Best Friend

January 31, 2007 at 12:29 AM | Posted in Architecture, Bradford-on-Avon, Dogs, Gardens & Parks, hippies, Sculpture, Wiltshire | 6 Comments

…or “Don’t Make ‘Em Like They Used To?”


Two days ago I found an old report with life-shattering facts about my assignment due on Friday. “Wowee,” I said. “This is great. Now, I just have to get it down on paper.” And down it went!
Unfortunately, “down” doesn’t mean with me. I was so eager to follow up a footnote that I had found in one county with its corresponding source in another county that I left the paper with the sketches and some facts in that first library. Yeah, this is stuff that I should keep to myself.
In any event, I came back to Wiltshire early yesterday morning, and left just as soon. It was still where I left it. I love small towns, unless I’m stuck in them. I stopped only briefly to get some photos of newly discovered areas of importance…and Rallo, here. No idea what Rallo’s real name is or what type of dog Rallo is, or even his/her gender, but I will tell you that that granary Rallo is guarding is from the 15th C. Yeah. I don’t know if it’s a sheepdog but it should be called a conservationist dog. I’d hate to be an arsonist near Rallo.

Good dog.

(Ironically, the Barton Grange Farm Granary is now a hippie-enclave selling New Age mirrors and emotion rings with candles and incense lit everywhere. Pray for the Grade 1 Listed Granary.)

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