070724.Bath, “Each Drop Fat With Purpose and Spite”

July 24, 2007 at 5:34 PM | Posted in Architecture, Bath, Bath Abbey, Dogs, somerset, stairs | 3 Comments

07016.08.SO.Bath.ParadeGrdns“There is going to be a great flood, and all shall drown except you and yours, and the chosen animals.… I shall bring a flood that will wipe out the world. The whole thing was a bad mistake—except you, you I like.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m the creator of the universe.”

070717.7.SO.Bath.Walcot.GeorgeStreet“I was just talking with the Lord and you know what? He regrets having made his children too. He says it like this: ‘I will blot them out’”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means he’ll blot them out, smush ‘em into the ground like ladybugs. He’s going to flood the place and drown everyone with his tears of rage. And guess who he picked to spearhead the operation? That’s right, me. Also, you virginal dummies will have to get married so we can re-seed the Earth. Stop waxing the rimrod and clean your togas. Get out to work.”

070305.01.Somset.Bath.ClavertonDown.BathwickHillRd“From what Ham had heard about God, he was a lot like his father: tough, stubborn and prone to yell right into your face for no reason. To Ham, a flood wouldn’t have been out the question. And God would have chosen his father because his father felt just like he did: He hated his kids and was going to teach them the meaning of righteousness by killing them dead.”

“Is it right to listen to the voice in one’s nose? Maybe I am sick in the head. But if I am wrong that means the dummies are right. There is nothing left for me to do but persist.”

070704.262.Rome.Parrione.Cloister.SMariadellaPace.d.Cortona.1656-57Ham: “You know, we could empty out the alligator cage and make some more room for people. The world could do without alligators.”
Noah: “And disobey God, you dummy? …And you try reopening that door. Do you know what a pain that would be? No thanks.”
–Jonathan Goldstein

Left: Rome’s Cloister of S. Maria della Pace, designed by Cortona, 1656-57.

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